Mid-Life Crisis

“Dammit! Are my unfulfilled regrets coming from a midlife crisis?”
Brad kept thinking this repeatedly. Pacing back and forth, shifting his weight from foot to foot because he is having difficulty standing still.
“This is the last thing I need.” His heart beat faster as his anxiety kicked in.
He shakes his body and head trying to brush that feeling off and says to himself, “ I will do soul searching later because right now I have to get to work.”
This is the part of the day he dreads; his work life is unfulfilling. Still feeling frustrated, tapping his fingers on the kitchen table, then looked at his phone and realized the time. Despite his dislike of work; the need to pay his bills is necessary. This is a part of life, and there is no escaping that.

While driving in the car, the song “Loverboy” by Billy Ocean came on; his smile widened and taps his hands on the dashboard while singing along with the lyrics. Brad called this his feel-good music. 80s music has a way of boosting his mood and bringing him solace. The thought of the women roller skating entered his mind. He loved how she looked so liberated and vital when she roller-skated with her shoulders lifted in a natural curve. She embodied the essence of confidence. He hungered for this desire for life and feeling alive. It is almost as if he thinks this is the cure-all that will help get rid of his despair.

He gets to work, parks his car, and stares at the building. Shaking his head, and says to himself, “Alright Brad, let’s get this over with.” As he was walking up to the building with his work ID in his hand, he saw his coworker, James. This coworker then asks, “Ok, are you ready for today?”
Brad responds, “Nope,” and snickers.
James replies, “Come on, man, it’s not that bad, is it?”
They both looked at each other and then fell out laughing.
They get to their cubicles, and Brad sits down, logs onto his computer, and then immediately exhales. He then murmurs to himself;
“Not this shit again. I just got here and already want to go back home.”

A guy named Rod comes over to him and James. Rod is the type of coworker that people can’t stand. Rod is nosy, always bothering people and asking unimportant questions. He actually disrupts everyone’s daily tasks, and this annoys a good majority of people. Part of this group of aggravated workers includes Brad and James.
Rod discloses, “Hey, y’all hear about the meeting we have today at 1?”
Brad replies, “Yes, I saw the email about it yesterday. Do you know what the meeting is about?”
“I overheard that the vice president wants this company to take on some new projects involving other countries.”
“What? You mean we are going global?”
“Yes, that is what I am hearing.”
James affirms, “Well…that means more money, right?”
Brad moans. “Ugh, but more work.”
“Damn, man, even if we make more money, you don’t want to do a little more work?”
“No, not really.”
“You’re really not feeling this job?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Rod narrows his eyelids and raises his eyebrows, does a visual sweep of Brad, starting from his shoes to his head. By doing this, it made Brad feel the weight of the observation. Brad can tell that Rod is judging him and now becomes defensive and crosses his arms, slightly taking a step back. Then Brad was bold and straight up asked Rod, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Rod tilted his head and gazed down at the floor before making eye contact with Brad again.
“Nothing, man, you just look a little stressed about this job.”
When Brad heard those invasive words and over-analyzing, judging phrases, his entire face turned red. Not red because of embarrassment, but red because of anger. In that moment he clenched his fists, eyes intensified, and walked aggressively towards Rod.

Brad said with a firm voice,
“You don’t know me like that or anything personal about me. You don’t know how I feel about this job or anything in my life, so don’t make assumptions about me. We are not friends.”

James looked so shocked that Brad said that, and Rod looked embarrassed but confused. Rod has a poor attention span for social cues, but Rod does not realize when he trespasses on delicate discussions. In Rod’s way, as annoying as he is, believes that he is trying to help. This is a very lanky guy with short, spiky brown hair and large, thick black glasses. He oversteps, asks too many questions, and makes speculations. It is unprofessional to bring up personal matters with other people at work, but Rod does not correct his behavior. Rod also has the attitude that he knows it all. Rod is a show-off, and that also pushes people away.
“Well, sheesh, man, I just asked a question. You don’t have to bite my head off! Anyway, I’m getting out of here; too much defensiveness is going on here. I see y’all at the meeting.”

Rod was also good at making people feel judged or some kind of way, and people felt belittled in that situation as if it were in the other person’s head.
And this pissed Brad off even more, and ready to get in Rod’s face. Rod turned around the other way to walk off, but James held Brad back. Rod stumbles as he walks off, with sweat dripping from his forehead because he knew he struck a nerve with Brad.

“Brad, come on, man, don’t let that fool get to you. He’s weird, but that’s why you have to watch what you say around him because he takes it to a whole other level.”
“Yeah, you’re right; that’s why I speak less when he’s around. But you know what? I have been feeling some type of way lately.”
“Yeah, I know, man; just ignore him, but if you need to take care of some things, then do it. I don’t judge. I just want you to feel alright.”

Brad and James bumped each other’s fists as a symbol of respect and stopped the conversation. Both just sat back at their cubicles and continued their work. Brad was clock-watching at this point; all he wanted to do was leave work and go home. He put his hand on his head as he was sitting at his desk and thought to himself, was he overreacting? Was he thin-skinned? He began daydreaming about being back at the courts with that roller lady, listening to that song by America. The lyrics were penetrating his mind, and then he asked in his head, “Lady, where are you now when I need you?”