Chapter 41: Mia, Vilde, Alex, AI, Aria.

February 7, 12:10 PM, the courtyard at DreamArts College.
Mia sits on a lunch bench in a short black pleated miniskirt and a black crop top that bares her midriff. She is absorbed in her laptop, a box of half-eaten pizza next to her.
Vilde sits down beside her in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. Her light blonde hair is in a high ponytail. “Hey, Mia!” she says in a bright voice with a clear Scandinavian accent.
Mia replies without looking up from the screen. “Help yourself.” She means the pizza. “So, if you haven’t changed your mind, I’ve already come up with a plan for a date with your potential guy. We’ll find out whether his cock is like a lion’s or not.”
Vilde’s expression flickers with surprise, then settles somewhere between curiosity and trepidation. “You… you’re still on that?”
Mia finally looks up, large brown eyes sharp behind heavy eyeliner. “Of course. You need data. I’m providing field research.” She closes her laptop slowly. “So. He’s supposed to pick you up from the student center, right? Around five?”
“Yeah. That’s what he said.” Vilde twists a strand of hair around her finger. “But I feel weird about this. What if he gets weird about you being there?”
Mia shrugs. “Then he’s a pussy. No pun intended.” She leans back, stretching her legs out. “I’ll be in the Starbucks across the street. If things go well, you’ll text me a thumbs-up.”
“And if he’s got a small dick?” Vilde asks, voice dropping to a near-whisper as she glances around the courtyard.
Mia grins, sharp and calculating. “Then I’ll intervene. Pretend to know you, my little Viking girl. Tell him you have a boyfriend back home who’s very jealous and would ‘accidentally’ break his kneecaps if he heard about you going on dates.” She takes a slice from the open box. “Trust me, guys fold fast when they think there’s physical violence involved.”
Vilde’s eyes widen. “You’d really do that?”
Mia takes a bite, chewing slowly. “Sure. It’s not like I’d actually hurt him. Just scare him off. And you’d never have to see him again after that.”
A beat of silence. Then, almost inaudibly, Vilde says, “Okay. I trust you.”
Mia wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and nods once. “Good. Because this is your one shot at being the hero of your own romantic comedy. Don’t fuck it up.”
Vilde swallows hard. “I’m… I’m not really thinking of this as a romantic comedy.”
“Of course you aren’t.” Mia speaks with something like pity as she takes another bite. “Because real life isn’t one, my little Viking girl. It’s messy and complicated and mostly ends with disappointment. But this? This can be as much or as little of a fairy tale as you want it to be.” She sets the slice down and leans forward. “Just don’t go into this thinking he’s going to be your Shining Aesir. That’s a recipe for getting hurt. Understand?”
Vilde nods, ponytail swaying. “I understand.”
“Good.” Mia picks up her laptop again. “Now.” Her fingers drum against the trackpad. “What time does he pick you up again? I need the exact time. I need to know if I should bring a book or if this is going to take actual effort.”
Vilde hesitates. “Five.”
Mia hums, noncommittal. “Perfect.” She glances at Vilde, then back to her screen. “You want me to wear something that makes it obvious I’m your housecarl? Or something that just looks like I’m casually loitering?”
“Casually loitering,” Vilde says quickly. “Please.”
“Fine.” Mia doesn’t look up. “But if he tries anything, I’m escalating. You said you wanted data, not trauma.”
“I know.” Vilde shifts on the bench, pulling her knees up to her chest. “I just… I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
Mia snaps her laptop shut with a sharp click. “You’re ready. You just don’t know it yet.” She stands, stretching her arms above her head. “Here’s the thing, my little Viking girl. Either he’s going to be worth the risk, or he’s not. But you’ll never know unless you take the leap.”
Vilde stares down at her hands, twisting them in her lap. “What if he’s not?”
“Then you thank him for his time, walk away, and don’t look back.” Mia adjusts her crop top. “And I’ll be there to make sure it happens cleanly.”
Vilde looks up, blue eyes searching Mia’s face. “You really think this is the right thing to do?”
“I think it’s the only thing to do.” Mia shrugs.
February 7, 3:00 PM. Château des Rêves, Alex’s office.
Alex sits at his desk, staring at his laptop screen. He wears a white t-shirt and black shorts.
“Yeah, things are going really well today,” he says to Lila, who sits not far from him on the couch with her own laptop. “Anthropic did a good job updating Muse. Or maybe the underlying code is just working beautifully today.” Muse AI is a specialized AI for writing.
Lila wears only panties and a bra designed as realistic white skeletal hands that cover the most intimate areas. Even though her outfit looks like expensive erotic cosplay, in Château it simply means that as Alex’s assistant she works with him on a new, particularly important book. She leans back against the couch cushions and stretches her arms above her head, deliberately accentuating her sexy average breasts.
“Glad to hear it, boss,” she purrs. “I hope you’ll find inspiration today for some of our more… complex scenes.” Her smirk turns wicked as she crosses one leg over the other, the white skeletal hands shifting slightly. “Dana really wants something special this time around.”
Alex chuckles. “Yeah, with a publisher like Dana not everyone can handle it… Though I have a suspicion she only pushes me this hard. I already have a ton of books written for years ahead, but she constantly wants more and more.” He glances at Lila’s outfit. “Yeah, your new outfit and my decision to stop jerking off for the last few days… It’s working perfectly.” He shifts in his chair. “Even though I have a constant hard-on, at least the inspiration is flowing and I’m in the zone without any coffee. Because whenever I jerk off, I always want to sleep right after. Probably old age. Twenty-nine years is… a lot.”
Lila lets out a soft, knowing hum and stretches her arms above her head again just to watch Alex’s eyes flicker down for a moment. She uncrosses her legs slowly, letting one foot dangle as she studies him.
“Mmm, and here I thought you were just getting better at not wasting your time,” she teases. Her fingers play with the edges of her bra’s skeletal hands, brushing against the raised knuckles.
Alex chuckles again. “Careful, don’t drop the laptop.” With a quick swipe of his finger he sends the text to Lila over their secure local network. “Here, check this. The AI wrote for Jessica, I wrote for Mark. I have a suspicion it’s writing not like a woman, but like Andrzej Sapkowski.”
Lila’s fingers dance over her keyboard as she pulls up the document. Her face stays unreadable for a moment, then she bursts into laughter.
“Oh my god, you’re right.” She reads aloud, deepening her voice into a theatrical Polish accent. “’She took a sip of wine and sighed deeply, feeling the cool liquid slide down her throat as the flavors danced upon her tongue. Her fingers, delicate yet strong, traced the rim of the glass absently, her mind elsewhere.’”
She snorts and looks at Alex. “It’s like someone wrote this for a dude who’s never actually read a romance novel. Like, do women really think about ‘cool liquid sliding down their throat’ that much? Or ‘fingers, delicate yet strong’?”
Alex groans and rolls his eyes. “You know, this guy doesn’t know how to write female characters or write from a woman’s perspective at all. I dropped his Witcher as soon as Ciri appeared in the narrative. Pretty much right after that cycle of short stories. I wouldn’t be surprised if he just accepts whatever the AI generates without editing it. Like, ‘well, I guess that’ll do for female psychology…’ Yeah, for the psychology of tons of low-grade pulp that Grok spits out. ‘She fell in love with a dragon on velvet sheets under neon light…’ And…”
Alex bursts out laughing. “Fuck, when I remember that shit you showed me yesterday… When are online platforms finally going to start removing this crap? ‘A 12-year-old girl discovered Wattpad and the world of erotic literature’—that’s what it’s called. I get that copyright issues mean AIs are trained on all kinds of garbage, but that doesn’t let the people using them off the hook.”
Lila stretches luxuriously, arches her back, then settles into a relaxed slouch. “Oh, it’s gonna be a minute before AI-generated garbage gets filtered out,” she says with a lazy smirk. “Like, I got an email last week from some guy who runs an erotic fiction Discord. He was like ‘Hey Lila, would you be interested in being a judge for our annual Best of the Best Contest? I know you’re very good at writing and have a great eye for quality content.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, for sure, I’d love to judge your contest! Send me all the entries!’”
Alex immediately asks, “And how bad was it exactly?”
Lila smirks, tapping a finger against her laptop’s keyboard as she recalls the submissions. “Oh, it was a fucking disaster,” she says, voice thick with amusement. “The first one I read had this line: ‘His massive cock—thick as a beer bottle and just as long—slid effortlessly into her dripping wet pussy. She moaned his name as he stretched her to the limit, her walls fluttering around his invading girth.’ Like, dude, if you’re going to write about someone getting railed by a beer bottle, at least make it sound believable.”
She shifts on the couch. “Then I got to the part where he calls her ‘my little minx’ and ‘my sweet thing’ every five seconds. It was like a bad ’90s porn script.” Lila grins and rests her chin on her hand. “And the worst part is? Some of these guys actually think this shit is good. Like, I got messages from people asking me how to ‘improve their writing,’ and all they really wanted was validation for their terrible dialogue and clichés.” She sighs dramatically. “It’s honestly exhausting.”
Alex chuckles. “I think they just want to talk to you, even if it’s just through messages. You know, it’s one thing to jerk off to your Google search photos, and a completely different thing to actually communicate with you.” He looks at the laptop screen, comparing different variations of the text from Muse AI. “If all the cum that’s been spilled because of you was converted into water, we could power a hydroelectric plant.”
Lila laughs and shifts to sit cross-legged on the couch. “If only they knew how boring my life actually is,” she says, fingers scrolling through the document Alex sent. “Half these guys think I’m some kind of goddess because I wear a bra that costs more than their tuition.”
Alex hums, briefly looking away from his laptop to glance at Lila. “Come on. You have a great life. A bunch of guys want to hold your hand, another bunch just wants to fuck you, and in the meantime you have to help me with writing, build your own modeling career, and resist the devious Aria, who…” He pauses, thinking. “Fuck knows what she’s plotting. I hope she doesn’t show up again next Saturday morning with another ‘interesting proposal’… Like ‘you know Alex, Kate and I have been talking for weeks about how you need to become a trans girl. Plus, now Brian is going to be fucking Kate after our talk last Saturday, so…’ something like that. I’m sure she could pull off even that kind of stupid shit.”
Lila lets out a full-bellied laugh, shaking her head as she leans back against the couch cushions. “Oh man, you’re not wrong about Aria,” she says, her fingers still dancing across her laptop keys. “Last time she ‘checked in,’ she was like ‘Alex, have you considered that maybe you’re not masculine enough for Kate? I mean, Brian’s so confident, and you’re just…’” She waves her hand vaguely, mimicking Aria’s dramatic gestures. “’So hesitant and introverted.’”
Alex sighs. “She just wanted to scare and arouse me at the same time. She said things like: ‘And Kate… she’s been teasing him so much lately. You know how she gets when she’s playing with fire.’” He imitates Aria’s sultry voice. “Or ‘Brian’s not going to just fuck her once and be done with it… Brian’s been talking to Kate for months. Just little things at first—compliments on her outfits, asking about her golf game. Then it got more… flirtatious.’”
Lila’s grin widens as she watches Alex mimic Aria’s voice. Her fingers still move over the keyboard, but her attention is now fully on him. “Damn, you’re good at that,” she laughs. “You should do voiceovers or something. But yeah, that sounds like her. She’s always looking for the most dramatic way to deliver news.”
Alex sighs. “I’m so glad you were in the mansion that morning and helped kick her out. She really didn’t want to leave. Maybe if I hadn’t been planning to jerk off that morning and wasn’t sitting there with a hard-on in my pants, I would’ve given her a more decisive rejection… Well, fuck it.” He looks at her. “Do you have any shoots planned for the next few weeks or any other social events? You still haven’t brought up the topic of me leaving for Cambria… I mean, I wanted to go there with…”
Lila interrupts him. “Oh, please. Like I’d let you go to Cambria alone,” she scoffs, shutting her laptop with a decisive click. “I’ve already cleared my schedule for the week you’re there. Well, except for a couple of photo shoots. But I’ll be there the whole time you’re not working.” She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Besides, someone has to keep you from getting too stressed out. Last time you were alone in a new place, you spent three days hyperventilating in a hotel bathroom before Kate found you.”
Alex groans. “Oh… I feel like shit.” He covers his face with his hands, then looks at her again. “I mean, I don’t deserve all this care. You’re constantly sacrificing your career and personal life for me, even though you’re only ‘technically’ my assistant, not some poor student who’s financially forced to work for a rich writer. But at the same time, part of me is glad you’re coming with me to Cambria. That’s why I feel like shit.”
Lila rolls her eyes dramatically and leans back against the couch cushions. “Dude, stop. You don’t need to feel bad about this. I want to go. I need the break, and frankly, I’m curious about Cambria. Everyone talks about it like it’s some kind of hippie paradise stuck in the ’60s.”
Alex hums, pushing his laptop away. “I think we need to take a break.” He leans back in his chair. “Yeah, I hope it’s not too bad in that Cambria. I mean—they don’t think the Vietnam War is still going on or something? Otherwise they’ll take you for a Vietnamese girl and…” He pauses. “…constantly give you discounts in stores as a ‘victim of American imperialism’.” He yawns, covering his mouth. “But actually, that’s not bad. Definitely. You won’t be a Chinese-Malay girl or a Malay-Chinese girl anymore… You’ll just be Vietnamese.”
Lila bursts out laughing, shaking her head. “Oh my God, you’re ridiculous. But yeah, I can deal with that. As long as they don’t try to feed me rice all the time or make me drink those weird herbal teas everyone seems obsessed with in those parts.” She rolls her shoulders. “I mean, I do like tea, but not when it tastes like someone’s grandma’s old sock drawer.”
Alex pretends to vomit. “Ugh, I’m gonna throw up.” He chuckles. “Just don’t mention your Irish and Scottish descent on your mother’s side. That would only complicate things.” He turns in his chair and looks toward the window. Outside stretches the familiar landscape of the inner courtyards of Château des Rêves—the one he’s used to after these four years. Meticulously designed in the style of French Versailles, even though the mansion sits in Southern California. “So… today is February 7… Wednesday. On Friday I have a meeting with that mysterious Lulu mentioned in the letter from the pink folder that Malu gave me… God, what nonsense!” He laughs. “What nonsense…”
Lila giggles, watching his exaggerated reaction. She swings her legs up onto the couch. “Yeah, a paper invitation? That’s so weird. Sounds like something from a Victorian romance novel or a gothic mystery. Maybe she’s planning to poison you with her secret recipe for arsenic-laced truffles.” She winks.
Alex groans dramatically. “Oh no, I think she might be a serial killer! And what if she’s not even that mysterious Lulu but some random person who swapped the letter while Malu was distracted by her duties as Dana’s secretary?” He rubs his temples. “Fuck, I should’ve asked Malu more questions. But it’s too late now. The meeting is on Friday evening.”
Lila grins. “Malu works for Sogni Nudi. She wouldn’t just hand over a letter from some random person without checking it first. Besides, if Lulu really was some psycho, you wouldn’t be sitting here complaining about it. You’d be dead already.” She pauses. “Unless you’re playing a long game and planning to kill me first, which would be… interesting.”
Alex looks at her tiredly and sighs. “Fuck. Lila… You forgot about ‘Lila taps her fingers on her knee’ and ‘wicked look hiding something dark’. I get your teasing, just don’t bring up all that grim murder shit. That’s for LA or, even better, New York. Thanks to the hippie founders and Mayor Nappi, everything’s peaceful here in Dreamside.”
Lila snickers and settles deeper into the cushions. “Alright, alright. No more serial killer talk. But you have to admit—it would make for a good scene in one of your books. The reclusive erotic novelist receiving a mysterious letter from a woman claiming to be his ‘muse’… only to discover she’s actually a deranged fan who thinks she’s possessed by the spirit of his characters.”
Alex chuckles. “Make sure that cosplay skeletal bra and panties of yours don’t fall apart… you really outdid yourself today.”
He leans forward, trying to get a better look at the realistic white skeletal hands that serve as Lila’s bra and thong. “Is that plastic or what? I’ve been fighting the urge to ask this the whole time, and now I’m finally asking.”
Lila looks down at herself with a smirk. “Oh, this pretty thing? Custom latex. The skeletal hands are actually separate pieces attached with these little magnets here.” She taps the inside of her bra where the skeletal fingers meet and wiggles her shoulders. “The material’s so thin it’s almost like a second skin when you wear it. Wicked, right?”
Alex keeps staring at her outfit while he lies practically sprawled belly-down on his desk. “Listen… This is cool. I mean, it’s not some cheap lazy crap like ‘fabric with a skeleton print’—they look like actual skeleton hands covering your tits and pussy.”
He looks her straight in the eyes, keeping his tone serious. “I need a second set. For me. It’ll cover my chest nicely—it’s small anyway. The main thing is that it covers my PP and balls. We can do joint promenades together. Some kind of performance called ‘Eroticism and Comedy’. I’m serious.”
Lila bursts into laughter, shoulders shaking. “Fuck! Are you serious?! You’re actually serious! Alex wearing a latex skeletal thong and bra just to parade around with me at some underground art show.” She looks at him, still giggling. “But you know what? I think it could work. People love irony and absurdity, and there’s definitely something… poetic about a shy, introverted writer wearing the same outlandish outfit as a model.” She adjusts the bra; the latex white skeleton hands shift slightly against her skin. “We’d have to get your measurements, though. I doubt this one would fit your… proportions.” She’s clearly hinting at his crotch, still grinning. “And you’d probably need extra support for the dangly bits.”
Alex slides off the desk and steps back so he’s fully visible. “Come on.” He points at his black shorts and adjusts his white t-shirt with the other hand. “Some people say my 5 inches is supposedly small. Especially Becky. Let’s check it. I’ll have a skeletal codpiece!”
Lila’s grin widens. She claps her hands. “Oh my god, this is the best!” She hops off the couch and gestures toward his shorts. “Alright, show me what you’ve got there, you weirdo.” She waves her hands dramatically, like she’s conducting an orchestra. “Go on—let’s see how it compares to the great white whale of the ocean!”
Alex rolls his eyes but obliges. He pulls his shorts down just enough to free his semi-erect cock and balls, holding them gently in his palm like a tray.
Lila leans in for a better look, eyes twinkling. “That’s… not bad,” she admits, nodding. “It’s not tiny or anything. But it could be firmer.” She taps one finger lightly against his scrotum. “Pfft, the thing just hangs there like a sack of… warmish potatoes.”
Alex stays still. His cock twitches with arousal.
“For four fucking years Becky laughed at my dick! I hope she fucking perishes in that cursed Malibu!” There’s a mix of joking and seriousness in his voice. “At least some benefit from that idiot janitor-hacker and his attempt to hack our security system.”
Lila smirks, reaching out to give Alex’s balls a playful but firm squeeze. “Mmm, that’s actually not bad,” she muses, considering his anatomy. “It’s got some weight to it. Good scrotum volume. And you know, you can probably make this look impressive with the right lighting.”
She gives his cock a small shake with her other hand. “Jiggle game’s on point.”
Alex adjusts his grip, his fingers curling slightly around the base as Lila continues examining him like a curious scientist. “And the texture’s nice—smooth but not too slippery. Good for… what?” She winks.
Alex sighs, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know ‘good for what’. You’re not seeing my sausage and eggs for the first time, and every time you come up with new metaphors. Even Kate is pretty restrained about it, even though she’s my girlfriend.”
Lila grins, giving his balls one last affectionate squeeze before pulling her hand away. “Oh please,” she says, waving dismissively. “Kate’s just too nice to comment on it too much. If anything, she probably thinks you’re cute like a little puppy.”
Alex scoffs and starts pulling his shorts back up. “Yeah, yeah… Of course,” he mutters. He sits back down at the desk. Lila plops back onto the couch, stretching her arms behind her head with a satisfied smirk.
“Well,” she drawls, “if you’re really serious about that skeletal outfit, I can help you get fitted. You know, to make sure it doesn’t, uh… suffocate anything important.”
Alex leans forward against the desk, rolling his eyes but grinning anyway. “Of course you’d say that,” he chuckles. “You want to see what it looks like on me.”
Lila gives an exaggerated shrug, wiggling her fingers at him. “What can I say? I’m a professional. I need to make sure my partner in crime doesn’t go around embarrassing me.”
Alex rubs his face with his hand. “It sounds stupid on one hand, but… Maybe it’ll help me integrate into big hangouts?” He makes a vague gesture. “I mean, there haven’t been any panic attacks for a long time, except for that nervous breakdown in the car right after talking to Brian… you remember.” He hints at the breakdown in the car. “And it wasn’t a panic attack… It’s just that this whole situation between me, Kate, Aria, and Brian happened precisely because I didn’t go to parties.”
Alex looks at Lila. “Anyway, I talked to Kate this morning. Aria is suggesting some kind of contest between me and Brian. Like, for the title of ‘best boyfriend’ or something. There’s even going to be a jury and all that. Kate herself is unsure and isn’t pressuring me… Do you think it’s worth it?”
Lila leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “Oh, this is perfect,” she drawls, her expression alight with playfulness. “A competition? Between you and Brian? That’s exactly what you need.”
Alex groans. “Lila, I’m being serious here.”
“So am I!” Lila snaps back with playful mockery. “Look, it’s brilliant. You’re stuck between wanting to be with Kate and wanting to avoid social stuff that freaks you out.”
Alex sighs. “’Valentine’s Day Main Man Contest.’ That’s what Kate called it. I suspect Aria has a more ‘exciting’ name for it.” He leans forward a bit. “I clarified the details later today. Basically, 12 hours for each—for me and for Brian. During these 12 hours we’re supposed to arrange an amazing date for Kate. The jury won’t be from our close friends for ‘objectivity’, but the final decision on who wins will still be up to Kate. Basically, a kind of ‘mini reality show’ just for a small circle of people. Of course there will be prizes for the winner and penalties for the loser. Aria definitely isn’t calming down, Lila. So let’s get serious.”
Lila grins, reclining comfortably on the couch. “You know I love it when you get all serious,” she says, her fingers steepled under her chin. “And I think this competition is absolutely perfect for you.” She gestures broadly. “It gives you a structured excuse to participate in a public event without having to feel obligated to enjoy it. You just need to win.”
Alex huffs through his nose. “You make it sound so simple.”
“It is simple,” Lila counters. “You just need to do better than Brian.”
Alex shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “I don’t even know what he’s capable of,” he mutters. “I’ve only seen him for around an hour in our meeting on February 4.”
Lila’s eyes sparkle with amusement, a playful smirk spreading across her face. “Well, that’s exactly why you have an advantage,” she says, leaning forward. “Brian may be charming and experienced, but you know Kate inside and out. You’ve got four years of love and intimacy to draw from.”
She pauses, thinking. “Let’s see, what are his strengths? Probably fancy dates and lavish gifts, right? But you? You can give her the kind of deep, emotional connection he can’t match. Plus, you’re a writer. I bet you could come up with some amazingly sweet and sexy romantic gestures.”
Alex chuckles. “Oh, she and I understand each other without words. Or maybe I’m just too easygoing a boyfriend, and she’s too good an actress. It depends on your point of view.” He pushes his chair back a bit from the desk, stretching his legs and propping them against the base. “I’m confident in myself. I’m not confident in Brian and Aria. I think they’ll definitely come up with some kind of setup. And I don’t know exactly what the risks will be. I mean, Brian is already going to be living in the same room with Kate anyway, and I’ll be sent to the guest house. Even before Erodreamarts starts. And then…” He waves his hand through the air. “Brian and Kate will be spending whole months here together under the cameras of a small number of accredited journalists from the ‘external’ non-Dreamside world, while I’ll be hiding in Cambria at Dana’s and the Sogni Nudi board of directors’ request because I’m their secret and most valuable asset among all male authors. So at the end of the contest, Brian and Aria will clearly want something more.”
Lila hums in thought. “Well,” she begins, rolling the words out deliberately, “you know, I don’t think it’s just a setup. I think this competition idea is a perfect excuse for them to get what they want in the first place—Brian in your spot and Kate officially theirs.” She gestures vaguely toward the window, as if pointing beyond the grounds of the Château. “But here’s the beautiful thing about it: you have more leverage than they do.”
Alex laughs dryly. “Oh, finally you admitted it. You figured it all out from the very beginning, right? And yet all morning and the whole day on February 3, and all the following days, you tried to convince me that I was just overthinking it, right? I assume that you, Madi, and Amy constantly discuss this whole situation in gloomy tones among yourselves, but at the same time calm me down. And what is Aria’s motivation? As far as I know, I’ve never had any conflict with her. Is she that attached to her Brian? Brian’s motivation is clear to me. He probably secretly wants me to die so that one more pussy is freed up for his cock.”
Lila’s lips quirk into a half-smile as she adjusts her position on the couch, crossing her legs with deliberate languor. “You’re catching on faster than I thought you would,” she says. “But you’re only seeing part of the picture. It’s not just about Brian wanting Kate. It’s about Aria wanting to break up the ‘perfect couple’ narrative that surrounds you two.” She leans forward slightly, elbows resting on her knees. “Kate is her best friend, but she’s also competition. The untouchable Kate Norwin, who has everything—beauty, fame, stability, and the perfect boyfriend.”
Alex hums. “Oh, thanks for the compliment. Turns out I’m not just a dumb erotic writer. Beauty, fame, stability—Aria has all that too. And she has plenty of guys because of her active polyamory.” He chuckles. “I don’t know how perfect Kate and I are. She helped me with my panic attacks, we never fight, and for four years we constantly experimented in bed—but only with each other. You know, Dreamside generally seems ideal for people outside SACZ: a bunch of young artists, actors, IT guys, and other bohemians have walled themselves off from paparazzi, homeless people, and street crime, make business deals during sex, and hold castings at parties in mansion-communes. The only thing is that no one outside this gated town knows that all kinds of strange girls like Aria Vale live here, who set up their best friends with giant black cocks and turn their friends’ boyfriends into cuckolds.”
Lila tilts her head, the corner of her mouth lifting in a sardonic smile. “Oh, you say that like it’s something new. The entire world has always operated this way. Especially Hollywood. And especially Dreamside.” She uncrosses her legs and stretches them out, crossing her ankles. “Aria’s not trying to break up something sacred. She’s just playing a game that everyone plays here.”
Alex sighs. “Oh, fuck… No more of these vulgar literary metaphors. They piss me off. And they piss you off too. This Aria is fucking crazy. It feels like she’s given up on her modeling, photography, and singing career… Her Prevale Agency is probably just running on autopilot… In my opinion, the only thing she’s been doing for the last few months is managing Kate’s personal life. She needs a psych ward. This isn’t normal!”
Lila snorts. “Normal? No, it isn’t. But it’s hardly a mental health issue. It’s just ambition. She wants to be the center of something—of a drama, of a scandal, of something big. And right now, you two are the biggest thing she can influence. The mysterious author and the untouchable actress? Come on, Alex. You know you’re fascinating. And you’re wrong about one thing. She’s not just managing Kate’s personal life—she’s managing all of it. The parties, the drama, the stakes. She thrives on control.”
Alex sighs again. “And? What do you suggest? Go back to yours and Becky’s plan with bugs and eavesdropping?” he says, referring to the incident on the morning of February 5. “The thing is, if I agree to this date contest on February 14, it’ll look like I’m trying to prove to Kate that I’m better than Brian, which means I’m insecure. If I refuse—it’ll mean I’m afraid of competing with Brian, which also means I’m insecure. Kate of course loves me, but the fact that she’s now building a relationship with Brian in parallel and is moving me to the guest house even before Erodreamarts clearly shows that she’s very strongly into him.”
Lila uncrosses her legs and plants her feet firmly on the floor, leaning forward with elbows on knees. “Well, I think that’s exactly why you should play along,” she says. “If you refuse outright, you do look insecure. But if you play along, you can control the terms of the game. Turn it into something you can win on your own terms.” She gestures vaguely with her hands. “This is what Aria wants, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take advantage of it. Make it about something you’re actually good at. Not just fancy dates or expensive gifts. Kate adores your writing—show her that.”
Alex rolls his eyes. “Alright… This is some surreal fucking bullshit. ‘Best Boyfriend Contest’. Our society’s reality is hitting rock bottom. Yeah, I wasn’t born in the USA, I’m generally far from neo-hippie ideology, but this really looks like a stupid Netflix teen drama. You know—where 30-year-olds play teenagers and every plot twist gets more and more insane. I’m shuddering at the moment when a politically repressed, gender-swapped FSB agent shows up here screaming: ‘I’m a woman now, Alex! I betrayed my country for you! I want to be with you, Alex!’ Fuck…” He laughs. “This is even worse than that toilet idea I recently told Chase about. You know, the one where I get kidnapped and turned into a human toilet and Kate and Brian have to shit in me so I don’t starve to death.”
Lila cackles, rubbing at her eye. “Oh, that’s perfect. Because that’s basically what this is—except there’s no kidnapping, and you’re not being used as a toilet.” She leans back, stretching her arms over her head with a satisfied sigh. “Aria wants you to feel like you’re getting shit on. That’s the whole point of this. But you can turn it around on her.” Her grin widens. “You’ve written a million erotic scenes where the weak become strong, the submissive turn dominant. Use that. Don’t fight the narrative—assist and exploit it.”
Alex makes a serious-comical face and dryly repeats Lila’s phrase, trying to imitate her: “’Aria wants you to feel like you’re getting shit on.’” Fuck.” He leans back. “You really know how to ‘correctly’ express yourself, straight up ‘caring’ about my mental state. And why does she want that? I’ve never had any conflict with Aria. I’m the boyfriend of her best friend. Maybe I should start paying more attention to her? I haven’t talked to her in the last few days since that morning of February 3. It seems like she’s offended about something. Otherwise she wouldn’t be pushing so hard in this whole ‘boundary expansion’ and other absorption of sanity thing.”
Lila smirks, tilting her head. “Oh, she’s not offended. She’s bored. And you’re the most interesting thing around right now.” She adjusts her position, crossing her legs again. “You’re the untouchable author who won’t play by Dreamside rules. You won’t fuck around with other girls at parties, you won’t do drugs, you won’t even get drunk. You’re this perfect little couple with Kate—so perfect it’s predictable. And Aria hates predictability.”
Alex raises an eyebrow, smirking. “So I need to do something unpredictable? Actually, I’ve been thinking about the whole situation for a while…” He yawns, covering his mouth with his hand. “Probably need to ‘hit’ Aria. I definitely interest her, just in some weird context.”
Lila snorts, shifting slightly on the couch. “Oh, you’ve definitely got her attention. The question is whether you want to capitalize on that or not.” She rests her chin on her hand, watching Alex with playful curiosity. “Aria’s type is the unpredictable guy who doesn’t care about her reputation. You? You’re too careful. Too measured. But now you’re in this weird middle ground—still committed to Kate, but forced into competition with Brian. It’s exactly the kind of situation she thrives in.”
Alex crosses his arms. “So I need to impress Aria? Knock the ground out from under her feet? I guess I should pay her a surprise visit at the mansion when Brian’s not there. And do it before this fucking February 14th. So when those 15 inches are off on his rapper business… what’s the best thing for me to wear?”
Lila looks at her laptop and quickly types, checking King B’s upcoming movements on social media. “Brian’s flying out to Chicago on the 8th for a show. He’ll be gone at least three days.” She pauses. “Hmm. He’s heading to Chicago for a concert tomorrow, then flying back to LA for a meet-and-greet on the 11th.” She leans back with a smile. “Which means you’ve got time to hit Cocoavilla. But not too much—do it before he gets back to Dreamside and starts shitting on you in person.”
Alex rolls his eyes. “I see you really liked that human toilet story of mine. By the way, I didn’t tell Kate about it this morning…”
Lila gasps dramatically, pressing a hand to her chest. “Oh, you didn’t tell Kate about your human toilet fantasy? How could you?! We all know she loves hearing about your… creative mental processes.”
Alex hums. “I just didn’t have time. Our morning conversation got interrupted by Daria’s call. Yeah, Becky and I have something in common: Brian is replacing me, and Daria is replacing her.”
Lila smirks. “Daria’s different from Becky, though. She’s more… contained. Less dramatic.” She leans forward slightly. “And I think Kate likes that about her.”
Alex rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah… She’s just a gloomy Russian girl. I’m not saying she’s bad. She’s just one of those people you can take out of the Russian province, but you can’t take the Russian province out of them. Sounds weird in English, but something like that. I grew up in a few post-Soviet countries, so it’s easier for me.” He looks at his laptop screen. “Anyway, I need to think through my visit to Aria tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin things with Kate just because I sit on my hands while they’re trying to use me as their toilet.”
Lila smirks. “You need to think it through? Really?” She scoffs. “Aria’s going to see right through any calculated moves. She’s not stupid—she knows exactly what buttons to push with you.”
Alex laughs. “Oh, yeah… like last Saturday: walks in, drops the news about Kate and Brian, then climbs onto this chair while I’m sitting in it…” He lightly taps the armrest. “Basically gives me a handjob through the fabric of my shorts and only leaves when you come in and kick her out, threatening to rip her hair out. Now that’s real button-pushing. The chair held both of us, by the way—respect.”
Lila grins. “That’s exactly why you need to shake things up with Aria. She doesn’t just push—she pulls. Hard.” She leans forward, elbows on her knees. “You’re predictable, Alex. You don’t like drama. You don’t like confrontation. And now you’re stuck in a situation where you either get dramatic or lose ground.”
Alex stares at his laptop screen and slowly says, “Oh, I know what I’m going to do…”